You’re Waking Up; Signs You’re Going Through a Spiritual Awakening
I’m nervous because if you would have told me 5 years ago that I would be writing a blog on this and my personal experiences I would have never believed you. That is the craziest part, life goes so differently and even better when you become who you are truly meant to be and that is because of this self journey I am on. If I’m being honest with you, I’m a little bit scared of the judgement that comes along with talking about these things. Some people may judge the term spirituality because society portrays it in a certain way (on purpose might I add), or the things that exist beyond our limited vision (which is just limited by ourselves). BUT I am way too far on this path that there is no looking back for me, especially for those who can’t think for themselves and turn to judgement instead. I have so much trust and faith that my content reaches those who need it, and resonate with it and I love you so much either way, so here we go.
What is a Spiritual Awakening?
You may or may not even know what a spiritual awakening is, I sure didn’t before I went through mine but after trying to figure out what was going on with me and after constant thoughts of thinking “what is wrong with me” I was lead to the right books, people and knowledge to discover what was going on internally and what it meant. The spiritual awakening process is not linear and it is so different for everyone and will never look the exact same for two people. This process exists in order for us to shed the parts of ourselves that aren’t serving us, and so we can begin to heal in order to truly transform and exist in alignment with our soul purpose. This usually starts with the dissolving of the ego, our ego is what keeps us separate from oneness and ourselves. Ohh the ego death. This happens because our souls are yearning to expand, grow and mature on a very very deep level. Let me remind you that most people ignore this entire process and fight it off their entire lives, often the ones who say “oh all that made up shit”, “oh that stuff is not real”, “I just don’t need that spirituality stuff in my life”, “I don’t have anything to heal from”. I hate to break it to you BUT we are all apart of spirit and soul, and the more you block this truth, the more we fall out of alignment with our own truth and purpose. So please please be so proud and gentle with yourself for being in this space, It really is a huge blessing you have opened yourself up to. I know it can be very painful and quite literally feel like you are dying. A huge part of you is, its the death of the ego which is an incredibly painful but rewarding process.
During this process you break out of the 3D illusion that society has so perfectly created for you to fall into and become trapped within the matrix. You start to see beyond all the fear and scarcity that is shoved in front of your face to keep you on a low vibration, and you return back to love, which is who we are at our truth. Life starts to look differently, you see beyond the illusions, you learn to quiet your mind and you realize there is literal magic happening all around you at all times and you can learn to co-create with it.
What Triggers the Process?
Again, the triggers are different for everybody. But essentially the trauma, pressure, life-altering events, or built-up emotions that are stored inside of our bodies start to crack us open to more because we can’t hold onto the pain and burdens anymore. Imagine fighting this process, most people do. Something I have found so much comfort in is that you were meant to go through everything in your life in order to get here. You knew that you could handle the pain in order to get where you needed to be, you knew that you could overcome everything because your soul needed to awaken in this life time. You have a big purpose, I know you do, I can feel it.
For me, it was the absurd and I mean ABSURD amount of pressure, stress and anxiety that I was experiencing from being in university full time, working a job that was almost full time, while trying to numb myself from my own inner pains that were incredibly prominent and surfacing at that time. This was all meant to be as it completely broke me open, but I didn’t know why it was happening. I was also living all alone at the time so there was no distractions from my pain. I take full responsibility for all of this by the way. This all caused me to fall into a burn out where I didn’t even know what was real anymore. I remember the moment that everything changed. I was going to bed one night feeling nothing but chaos and pain within myself and my heart. I asked out loud I still don’t know why I did, “what is this, this isn’t life, this isn’t what I want”, I was so numb. My eyes closed and I can still see what I saw when I asked this. I was free falling into darkness, nothing but black surrounded me and my body was falling fast. It felt like I left my body. It felt like I was there falling, in a way I was. This scared me at first because I didn’t know what was more real, the life I was living or that visual. They felt equally as real. I woke up the next morning and it was as if I had lost what I thought was my identify. That’s how most people will explain their spiritual awakening, the loss of your false identity, the ego.
I know now that our emotional bodies are just as important as our physical ones. After reflection of that one moment, I felt some form of peace more than I ever had. Because I knew I was so far from my inner truth, and that my soul was suffering badly. I asked what this was, and I received that answer, I was neglecting myself over and over, each day causing me to live a reality that reflected that. That was one of my main awakening moments that begun this process. That lead me into my dark night of the soul which is a whole other topic in itself. There was so much pressure and pain that I had build up within myself, that I was forced to go down this path to fully awaken and that is usually how this happens to people. I’m so grateful. All of the pain and trauma I had been shoving down and ignoring began surfacing and it’s all lead me here. I guess you could say I had a mid life crisis at 20 years old in a way, but it really just was my awakening. I don’t know why this happened to me, but I am so grateful it did.
Signs You’re Going Through Your Awakening
Okay now that we have covered what this process is, and why it happens we can talk about the signs you may be experiencing and how you can identify them. Remember you may have one of them, all of them, or some. Listen to what truly resonates and leave the rest by following your intuition as with everything. Just remember whatever you are experiencing is perfect for you, theres no right or wrong way to your own journey.
“There must be more for me” & Questioning Everything
This is usually one of the beginning signs that you’re entering your awakening or beginning to wonder what the hell is going on with your life. It’s almost like you have a new pair of glasses on with your perception of life, but you have no idea why or how. Nothing is how you once imagined it would be. Usually what you thought you wanted, turns out to be far from what your heart is actually calling for. This is because we are no longer operating from our ego, we begin to see the things that we thought we wanted as bandaids for what is truly going on within. Whether it be a relationship, a job, bad habits, self-destructive behaviours, or addictions we start ask ourselves “is this really what I want to be like”, “is this all there is for me”, “I know I am meant for so much more”. This is such a painful process, and it’s meant to be. We are unravelling who we thought we were in order to find our truth within because you won’t find it anywhere else or in someone else. This then leads to you questioning how life is ‘set up’ entirely, what you have been taught in school, told by your parents (who are just wounded children like us too trying to figure themselves out), the conditioning and programming. To be blunt I know for me personally, I began to see through the illusions of society and how they have literally created a matrix of fear and scarcity. It feels like nothing makes sense at this point. You can’t understand how you got to this point, but I’m telling you just trust it.
I was so out of alignment with my worth, my power, my true talents. Sometimes this takes a people a whole lifetime of working the same job they never even really wanted to finally start to question life and wake up to their soul. I started questioning EVERYTHING and I started to see that a lot of the beliefs I held came from those around me, society and fear. It all caused me to see things from a different perspective, and I started to take back my power. Even though this makes you feel like you are going backwards, and maybe right now you feel like your so far away from where you want to be, but I promise you you’re not. You needed to get right here in order to wake up and understand what is truly going on. You’re meant for something big.
Chaos of Deep Emotions
You’re probably experiencing deep deep emotions, maybe more so than ever before. How you truly feel is beginning to reveal itself, and your triggers are appearing everywhere all the time waiting for you to become aware of them. This is very difficult to move through because we can get lost in the sadness, the grief, the guilt, the shame, the anxiety, any emotion that may come up. It’s all ok.That’s why it is so important to know that these feelings are appearing in order for you to release them, your body is physically transforming and letting go of everything you have been holding onto and storing. Because your soul is awakening it is disturbing your energetic field so chaos with our emotions is completely understandable. You may find yourself feeling great and on track, then all of a sudden to feel you are going backwards. You’re dancing between low and high frequencies in order to transform and create new DNA, programs, and essentially a new self as you shed away the denser and lower frequencies your body has been holding onto! This is quite literally the process of alchemy within our bodies and energetic field.
This is where something big is misunderstood within our current day of age, most people get really scared and start to think that there must be something wrong with them for feeling such heaviness and despair. I promise there is nothing wrong with you. You’re not crazy, you’re not the feelings of depression, you’re not the feelings sadness, you’re not the guilt. These are just past experiences and emotions that get stored in your body manifesting as thoughts, feelings and emotions that are coming up because they need to be seen in a different light to heal the root cause.
I remember when I was first moving through this, I felt SO sad most of the time and utterly lost, I still am moving through these feelings. What I have realized now is that most people feel the same, especially around my age when we have all this pressure to know what we are doing with the rest of our lives, when we aren’t supposed to know, you will know when you know. Another illusion society creates. It’s just whether or not we are willing to sit with the chaos within our minds, and learn to listen to it. We can do this by understanding we are separate from it by feeling into them and learning why it is there in the first place needing our attention and love. Meditation, being in the present moment, breath-work, EFT tapping, have all helped me move through these feelings and heavy energetic mood swings and helped me come back to myself.
Isolation & Nature
Feeling isolated is a huge part of this process, and you may feel so disconnected from everything that was once a big part of who you are, or thought you were. You might feel forgotten about by the world and those around you, you have a very hard time feeling like you can relate or connect to people who you thought you were close with. People might start to fall away, you may start to see people for who they really are and why you attracted them into your life at some point. During this time alone comes the realization that there must be something greater to connect to, I found this by being in nature and the beauty of it. You must lean into the peace within yourself as the distractions from other people, events, or things our ego created are no longer there to fill some type of void. Please understand that you are not being punished, you’re not weird for needing time alone, and it’s not that people don’t like you or want to spend time with you. You and your soul need this time together to rebuild your foundation that has been trampled over by self betrayal, non existing boundaries, fears, illusions, or any other distraction pushed in front of our faces to numb us out. I felt such a strong pull towards nature and just wanting to be outside whenever I could. A deep and strong connection and pull towards natures is a very big sign that your awakening. Connecting back to the earth and nature to ground yourself is crucial well forever, but is so important during this time because it literally helps us clear our energy and mind.
I have never ever in my entire life felt as alone as I did throughout this process, I still have days I feel so unguided and lost and that no one will ever ‘get’ me. Most of the people in my life at this time were not where I was mentally or spiritually or so I felt, and no one actually understood what I was going through and I couldn’t explain it. I had to remember that people are all on their own journey too and I can just expect them to understand and match where I was, but I promise you will find the people that do. A lot of people and things that I thought made me who I was, eventually fell away and left my life as I started to re-build from inside during this time alone. No one tells you how hard this work is, and how painful it is, but just know it’s a blessing. I can truly say that it was during my time alone that I was able to connect to the divine, my angels, the universe, source, whatever the hell you want to call it, and my life has never been the same since. Unexplainable things will happen if you’re willing to listen, be by yourself, and open your mind to what is.
Intuition
As you begin to quiet your mind and listen to your inner guidance you will notice that your intuition and the inner voice of love begin to get stronger and stronger. You begin to understand that the negative self-talk and sense of fear or lack is just a part of your conditioning and ways your ego likes to keep you stuck in the same reoccurring thought patterns. You might start getting intuitive downloads coming from a place of love, or just feeling a greater sense of trust and safety from within. Your intuition will start to heighten and you might get a stronger sense of truths, read into people more by feeling energy, and become more aware of what is truly happening around you. This is also where people might be tapping into spiritual gifts or physic abilities. We all have them by the way, each one of us has some type of spiritual gift but it’s only up to us to remember and rediscover them. Obviously we have free will when we come here and we don’t have to tune into this if we chose not to. Something that has stuck with me ever since getting more into touch with my intuition is that it will always come from a loving voice inside you. You know when you seem to get lost in your thoughts and they seem to overtake your mind and you start to get anxious or sad, or feel heavy, I can almost guarantee you this is not the voice of love, so a huge part of this awakening is beginning to stop identifying with that fear based programming, and tap back into the intuition. You can let those low vibe thoughts float away in a cute little cloud. This is a challenging process, but each time we do this it gets easier and easier, and our cells start to vibrate higher and higher and our inner trust gets stronger and stronger.
I have found the most peace and comfort in my entire life by listening to my intuition more so than I ever did before when I didn’t even know how to truly listen to myself. No it doesn’t always make sense, and no its not easy going down this path, especially when we live in a word of constant noise where everywhere we look and go is influencing our thoughts and beliefs. This is why this connection is crucial to our growth and evolvement, we can only find true happiness and peace if it is coming from within. I have been able to truly tune into myself and my inner guidance and understand that I’m exactly where I need to be right now, and by putting my heart out there you can understand that this is true for you too.
Big Shifts
Big shifts will happen throughout this process, they can either feel like shifts forwards or shifts backwards and neither one is better than the other so don’t worry if you feel like you are shifting backwards it’s all happening for you. It may be that you have shifted out of a friend group, or shifted who you are spending your time with, maybe someone has left your life or someone has just entered you didn’t see coming. People coming and going throughout this process makes a lot of sense because people will either grow with you, or grow away from you. As you move and shift to higher frequencies the people who don’t match that will naturally fall away because they can’t match your energetic field and you can’t match theirs. It’s the way energy works. This is hard because sometimes we cling onto people or things that aren’t meant for us when we need to learn to let things go and become unattached. Another big shift might have to do with feeling like all of a sudden you have done a 180 in life, and you feel like you see everything from a new perspective. Maybe you went through an experience or event that made you go ‘holy shit’ and your mind has never really been the same since. For me, this was the moment I talked about previously about the visual I received from my soul, after that moment I began to wake up and understand there was much much more trying to get my attention. I have also been dealing with feelings of shifting backwards and not understanding why I feel so lost and confused even though I am trying to grow and become my true self. A lot of people have come and left my life over the past few years as well, and I can understand this now. It will feel like a lot of chaos and crumbling, but the universe is helping to rearrange things for you, making your life better and more aligned with who you truly are!
I speak about my experiences in hopes that it helps people, and that they can find comfort within their own experiences too. For a long time, I didn’t know what was going on with me, I thought I might have been depressed, crazy, or something was just “wrong with me” for feeling what I was experiencing because we aren’t taught about this type of healing and emotional work in society as much as it should be. Society likes to mask this process by putting a label on you, labelling it as depression, or anxiety, or anything else where you think something is wrong with you (here pay for this medication to mask it even more and support the billion $ pharmaceutical companies that run the world), but the truth is the emotions you are feeling are very normal they help us navigate and open ourselves up to our subconscious mind. You do not have to identify yourself with the emotions you are feeling or become them, we must welcome it, understand it, feel it, and simply let it go. We are the awareness behind them, and it is our job to transmute them into love, that’s what this process is. That’s what growing is, life is constantly evolving, nature is constantly growing, and we are too. It’s all apart of the process, I promise.
Thank you so much for being here, I’m so grateful you’re reading this because your on the journey of becoming who your meant to be. I’m sending you so much of my love xx
