The Messy Start of Something Sweet: Releasing Perfectionism

On releasing perfectionism and trusting divine timing

When I filmed the first episode of my new fall baking series, Chai & Spiced, it didn’t go as planned.
I had this perfect vision in my head — the buns, the lighting, the aesthetic — and then… real life happened. The buns were good, but not how I imagined. The lighting was off. It just wasn’t how I wanted it to be, I was having such an off day! I almost didn’t post it….

It would’ve been so easy to say, “I’ll refilm when it’s perfect.” But I realized — that’s the exact trap I’ve always fallen into.

Perfectionism isn’t about high standards. It’s about safety.
Our brains convince us that if something isn’t perfect yet, we just need more time, more tweaking, more control — when really, it’s a way of avoiding the vulnerability of being seen. It’s self-sabotage dressed up as “I’m just not ready yet.”

But things are never going to be perfect; They’re only ever going to be divine — and those are two very different things. Embrace the real life moments and imperfections to see how they make the most precious moments so much more beautiful and simple!

Real life moments of picking apples in the field, making apple pie filling with my pups at my feet are perfection because they’re real – theres no searching to make it perfect. When I force things to look or go a certain way, or hide if they don’t, that’s a trap of perfectionism.

Pursuing perfection is rigid.
The Divine dance is fluid.
Pursuing Perfection is controlled.
The Divine dance is flowing.

Looking back now, I can see that the imperfect beginning was exactly what it needed to be — because it was a beginning. And the moment I posted it, everything started flowing.

Since that first episode, three more recipes have found their way into Chai & Spiced, each one arriving effortlessly, perfectly in sync with the season. It’s almost like they were waiting for me to stop hesitating.

There were the Sourdough Apple Cheesecake Brioche Buns — soft, sticky, and filled with warm apple pie filling and cheesecake custard. Then came the Pumpkin Spice Olive Oil Cake, so rich and moist it barely lasted a day in my kitchen.

And of course, Thanksgiving arrived — and with it, the Honey Brown Butter Pumpkin Pie and my signature Sourdough Apple Pie with that flaky, deeply golden Sourdough Pie Crust I’ve spent years perfecting (and yes, that recipe’s finally live too).

All of these recipes feel like such a reflection of the process itself — imperfect, evolving, but so full of heart. The moment I let go of how I thought it “should” look, it became exactly what it was meant to be.

So if you’re sitting on something — a dream, a creative idea, a recipe, a project — waiting for the right time or the right version of yourself to start… this is your sign.

Start messy.
Start in your hoodie.
Start before you feel ready.

Because perfect never comes — but divine always does.

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Explore the Chai & Spiced series 🧸🤎:

💌 P.S. we chatted about all things perfectionism and how it was affecting me in this weeks Love Letter, and I love connecting with all of you over there! I always get so many insights when writing with you!

If you’re not already on the list, you can sign up below to be apart of my Sunday Love Letter Series — notes on slow living, softness, and staying connected to beauty, and always being styled with intention. It’s where we go behind the blog and get even more real together <3

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